GratitudeLog

Once upon a time the voice in my head wasn’t very kind~~ it would find fault and chide me for all of my “imperfections” ~~ in my dreams, it would find impossibilities and unrealities ~~ it would preach of my limitations and find even the smallest speck of dirt that might be left on the floor ~~ my inner child began to cower and hide from this voice that seemed to come from such a “critical parent’ ~~ I yearned for this voice’s approval and yet the harder that I would try, the more impossible it seemed to please ~~ my inner child, my growing spirit became confused and then discouraged and finally depressed—I knew that I had value and magnificence but if this voice would not acknowledge it then how could that magnificence be real ~~ afterall, didn’t that voice know me as no one else could? ~~ this voice saw every movement of my soul and if I wasn’t good enough for this voice then perhaps I was actually born broken and permanently flawed~~~ so I began looking for someone who could “override” that voice in my head~~~ a mentor or perhaps THE “soul mate” who see all the beauty within in and love me for who I truly am ~~ someone who would convince me that the voice in my head was “wrong” ~~ someone who would empower and “heal”/fix me~~~ (This is where I smile as I might smile at someone trying desperately to ride a bicycle while seated backwards on the bike) ~~~ years passed, as did many painful (and far from pleasing relationships) but guess what: last night when I curled up into bed, I realized something magical! The voice that plays with me now is transforming into my spiritual lover. My soul—this voice—is becoming my ultimate “soul mate”. As I have grown, I have begun learning that this voice “should be” the voice of my soul. This poor voice is not doomed to fill the critical role which I suppose that I was initially programmed to believe it to be. This voice serves me better as my “forever friend”, my inspiration and yes, the ultimate soul—the ultimate mate—that DOES know me better than anyone else, but always loves me. My soul mate cheers me on when I may be dragging. My soul says everything to me that the “perfect” mate would say. Wink! We laugh and we tease (I rolled over in bed last night and thought, “Phew... I’m hot”--to which my perfect little soul mate laughed and responded “Yes, you are!” Oy! Nothing like a soul with a sense of humor). My soul now spends time with me pointing out the majesty of the sand cranes as they fly overhead crooning out their greeting~~~ the perfection of the batch of brownies that I just pulled from the oven ~~ the great way that I handled a potentially difficult client which lead to such surprisingly wonderful results ~~ my creativity~~ my reasons for joy~~ in short, I now have a friend/ “mate” who will always “be there” for me (yes, double entendre intended). I am never alone, but best of all ~~ aside from the love and joy and vibrance that I feel from the nurturing of my inner soul, now those that I love (my phenomenal children, my “Stradivarius” boy friend, my parents, my friends and my colleagues) no longer bear the burden of my need for their perfection. They no longer have to say “the perfect thing”. They too can live and thrive and prosper as they truly are and wow, do I appreciate them even more! After years and years of fruitlessly searching for that pie-in-the-sky soul mate, imagine my surprise to find that I was living with that sacred soul all along ~~ all I had to do was ASK and ALLOW ~~~ so today, I wish for all of my GLFs all that your hearts desire! May you dance and bask your way through the day! May you find joy in all that you do and may your own soul mate shower you with words of love and encouragement so that all of the world can see the beauty of all that you are becoming day by day by day! Much love to you all! And may we all (yes) live HAPPILY EVER AFTER! Wink!